It doesn’t feel right to post again now. To move the last post down the list and eventually into the archives. Because then it feels like I’m moving mom into the archives. Along with Uncle Ed, Jill, and grandma.
It doesn’t feel right that her place should be amongst them. But it didn’t feel right when they first passed either.
It is foggy in my head now. I can’t see or focus on anything in particular. I’m trying to ease back into things in such a way that will not overwhelm, but I’m such an all or nothing kind of girl, this task is proving much more difficult than it sounds.
I can’t do anything but take one step at a time and I think that means hitting “publish” here and moving things toward the archives. I won’t ever forget mom, but I can’t stay here, in the fog.