Weird


Someone came to my blog from this search: “How to poop a platypus” They landed on my Mammogram and Platypus Poop page.

Believe it or not, yet another person landed her from using the search terms “Platypus poop” who would’ve thought those would be the terms that directed people here?

And then someone searched: “Toad sump pump” and landed on the post with pictures of my basement while it was flooding and my little toad who disappeared during the flood.

Of course, there are always the Anti Monkey Butt Powder searches.

Hair

Zane is 8. And is obsessed with his peach fuzz.

Zane: I have one chest hair. Look

Me: Wow. That’s great son.

Zane: I can see 4 dark spots when I look in the mirror on my lip right here (points to upper lip)

Me: Wow! So you’re getting a mustache, huh?

Zane: (smiling big and proud, sticking out chest)

Me: That’s something all right.

Zane: I have maybe a spot on my armpit too.

Me: You’re just getting hair everywhere. That’s great. (because he’s obviously proud)

Zane: I have one more kind of hair.

Me: Stop. If it’s anywhere near your privates I don’t want to know.

Zane: Well, it is, but I wasn’t going to tell you that.

Me: Stop talking. I don’t need to know about that hair.

Zane: But I wasn’t going to…

Me: Stop. Talk to your dad about that.

Zane: Well I have 4 kinds of hair now. (Walks away proud and laughing)

Curvy Women are Cleverer, Have Brainier Kids

What?! Finally! A study that does this birthing hips and humongous tatas justice!!

Scientists at the Universities of Pittsburgh and California, Santa Barbara, found that women with large hips and small waists are cleverer than those with either “apple-shaped” or linear bodies.

The study, to be published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour, also discovered that curvaceous women give birth to more intelligent children because hip fat contains polyunsaturated fatty acids critical for the development of the fetus’s brain.

The researchers believe that the results shed light on why many men find curvy women more alluring.

Read the whole article!

I’m so sorry if you’re a skinny little thing reading my blog today. Maybe not. Maybe I just want to revel in the fact that these extra pounds mean something other than I ate too many pieces of bread at dinner.

Lazy

Well.

Last night Zane said, “Why is there still a Christmas Tree in our living room?”

“Because I haven’t taken it down yet.”

“Because you’re lazy.”

“Oh really?

“Yep.”

“You really think that?”

“Yes. The only work you do is on the computer with your fingers.”

“Oh. Really now.”

“Daddy does physical work all day long. You just use your fingers. That’s lazy.”

“I see. So you don’t think my brain is engaged when I’m writing my stories?”

“Okay. You use your brain and your fingers. How hard is that?”

*****

Guess who’s scrapping the current homeschool schedule? And guess who will be writing short stories for, oh, maybe a month?

And Zane will quite possibly have to stick by my side for a week and do all the things he doesn’t see me doing. Laundry. Dishes. Toilets. Sinks. Cooking.

Oh the joys of homeschooling!

To be fair, he’s got a point about the Christmas tree. I don’t think it’s laziness as much as avoidance. I just don’t want to do it so I keep doing other stuff. I don’t want to do it because it is so very tall and I am so very short. It is overwhelming and I have been letting that eat away at me.