Uncle Ed

They Lied

It doesn’t get easier with time. I still dread this day. It’s been 5 years now. Suicide never, ever, ever gets easier to deal with. The grief is so personal and deep and it fucking never stops hurting. and it’s not easy to watch what has happened to everyone I love , everyone who loved you, since the suicide. the … Read More

Feeble Prayers

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then … Read More

Categories GOD

Now What?

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then … Read More

Nothing to Read Here Part 3

Here’s Part 1 Part 2 Chronologically speaking, I’m not doing well here and I’m going to have to back things up a bit. Most of the story I’ve told has been from 2005 until now, but there’s a pretty big event that I skipped right over, it was what put me in the hot seat. There’s so much backstory that … Read More

Nothing to Read Here (part 2)

Here’s part 1 From yesterday: Except Jesus forgot one very important detail. He forgot to let Uncle Ed live. The downward spiral of Uncle Ed’s mental and physical health began without many noticing, I’m afraid. To pinpoint an exact date or time frame would resemble an attempt to duct tape water to the wall. My Uncle Ed is my mom’s … Read More

Keep Moving, Nothing to read here.

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then … Read More

A Day I’m Not Sure About

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then … Read More

Ani mitgaa’ga’at elecha

Shattered Goodbye

Through the darkness you walked In depths unfathomable I reached out you couldn’t see I called you couldn’t hear Darkness defined the path; walled you in. Midnight has never seen this expanse of black You thought you were alone. You carried more than there was. You pulled it along Wore yourself out You stumbled. You fell. I couldn’t pick you … Read More