It doesn’t get easier with time.

I still dread this day.

It’s been 5 years now.

Suicide never, ever, ever gets easier to deal with. The grief is so personal and deep and it fucking never stops hurting.

and it’s not easy to watch what has happened to everyone I love , everyone who loved you, since the suicide. the destruction is unstoppable. the heartache is unbearable. the anger is overwhelming.

Please.

Get help if you need it.

Someone I love(d) so very deeply, someone who had a family to tend to, someone who brought joy and smiles and laughter to everyone around…

is gone.

and i hate it so very much.

i miss you uncle ed.