- Cut fingernails really short so you don’t bend one all the way back while moving furniture.
- Learn that dust bunnies are energetic and ambitious in their mating practices. In the future, nip that in the bud.
- Pat yourself on the back when the comforter on your bed matches your living room furniture (perfectly.) Laugh nervously when people ask if you planned it that way.
- And whatever you do, I beg of you, please do not leave your Christmas tree up until July 27. Because you have to take it down in order to get your bed to fit in the living room properly. And then your son will beg you to leave it up because he likes laughing at you when other people make fun of you.
- When you buy a house, don’t look at the decor and think you’ll fix it right away. If you have a propensity towards procrastination and you leave your Christmas tree up until July 27, you won’t get around to changing those things.
You can click the picture to enjoy it super-sized.
But only a freak would do that.
I’ve been living in that horrendous room for–oh–like 5 years now. I didn’t realize we’d have to sand it off the walls to change it.
See that in the middle? Where the dry wall was patched?
Yeah, that’s where I threw Phil’s cowboy boot at him and the boot stuck in the wall.
I didn’t tell you that story?