*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well
I’m not good at this grace thing. This charis. In the Greek, charis is
…of the merciful kindness by which God, exerting his holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues
and I get how He extends me grace. Well. Sort of.
I mean, I understand that his favor is unmerited. That I don’t deserve it, that I’m a sinner and that He’s holy and without Jesus’ sacrifice that gap between perfect and sin can’t be bridged. I do comprehend that.
The continuation of grace though? That He would give me a plethora of second and eleventy-millionth chances to follow in his Holiness? That’s what I don’t understand. And that’s where I run into all of my problems.
For three years, I had the same word, “Simplify.” Yes. Three years. Sometimes it takes me awhile to learn. Last year, it was “Believe.” Now, 2012 comes with the word Grace. I prayed for a word to focus on and didn’t really expect grace. It’ll be difficult to me and I already realize there will be super-duper-God-sized challenges.
I enter 2012 with trepidation because I know how embarrassingly grace-less I am. I would like to try to blog about my experience this year, but I also realize that means admitting so much I won’t want care to expose in public. So. yeah. Tough start to a new year.
Not to sound dumb…but this is what’s so amazing about grace. That it’s not just this one time that He extends it to us. It’s the eleventy-millionth and the thirty-millionth. So hard to understand. SO hard to extend to others.
I’m finding it pretty impossible to extend it. I’ve had mixed messages in my brain. Maybe that’s why he’s focusing me onto GRACE. To find out what it really means instead of my (mis)perception of it. (Emailing you now…)
I think this is a perfect word for you and I imagine it will lead to big and wonderful growing this year. Truly.
I was going to say kind of the same thing, Michelle.. that maybe it’s your word for the year so you can focus on it and Him, and His grace, and giving grace, and finally come to terms with it in your head and your heart. =)