Shepherds Aren’t Always Nice

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well

Or they don’t always seem nice.

There’s a book I read.  Studied. Underlined passages and flipped through pages until they came out of their binding:  A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23 by Phillip Keller.

At the time I read it, I was writing a Bible study and wanted to show how people are like sheep and why God constantly used that analogy. I read this book as part of my research.

Keller says “The greatest single safeguard which a shepherd has in handling his flock is to keep them on the move.”

“…the life of God can only flow in blessing through the valleys that have been carved and cut into our own lives by excruciating experiences.”

Maybe I’m alone in my  tendency to think God’s not fair to move me from a comfortable place. Maybe I’m alone in my continual arguments with God telling Him, “I don’t wanna…”

But maybe not.

He moves me from comfort to valley and back again.  Sometimes I think it’s good enough to only acknowledge the movement. “Yes Lord, I realize I’m shutting people out. Thankyouverymuch.”  “Yes. I fully admit I’m emotionally shut down and I’ve been warning people, too, so they know where I’m at.”  “Yes. I know I’ve made myself busy with lots of things so I don’t have to face the grief of losing my mom.”


But acknowledgement without movement = nothing.

So here I am. Moving from comfort to valley again. Against my will.

(Like He didn’t know I’d need to be pushed?)

To stay by His side is my desire.  To let him apply salve to and bind my wounds is painful but necessary.

He says He is the Lord that heals.

How does He heal though?  In ways we least expect, I suspect.

There are people who don’t understand the process. (I’m not sure I do) (I’m certainly not an expert.) But maybe what I can do is tell you my story and let you understand it for yourself.

I could simply proclaim that God is good and God has healed me  in the past and is healing me now (again) and you should get some God-healing for yourself.  But proclaiming (acknowledgement) does not equal movement.

For this one thing, this healing and how I came to understand it was of God, I will document as much as I can including things I might take for granted, like how God speaks to me.  And if when I’m finished, you think I’m crazy (it’ll be ok.) I’m good with that.

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In this (long) series:

Sometimes Things Don’t Turn Out As I Planned
Shepherds Aren’t Always Nice (You are here, right now)
How Things Come Together When God Tries To Get My Attention Part 1
How Things Come Together When God Tries To Get My Attention Part 2
How Things Come Together When God Tries To Get My Attention Part 3

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