Thoughts

Pleasures

i. Cool mornings in Vermont, that turn into hot, steamy, summer days that turn back into cool nights. Summer is different here from my childhood home of Gary, Indiana on the shores of Lake Michigan. Summer was hot and humid all summer long with little relief. Here in Vermont, the morning are chilly enough to need a sweater when I … Read More

Crushes

i. My husband. Since the first time I laid eyes on him in that traffic jam to every day when I look into his eyes. He is constantly growing and improving himself, becoming softer, easier, more relaxed. He always catches me and holds me up and lays me down. He is one of the beautiful humans on this earth and … Read More

Relaxation

i. My morning ritual. Coffee. Smoke cleansing with my own mix. Journaling. More coffee. Sometimes yoga. I haven’t been good at doing yoga daily lately because of weird feeling possible injuries, so I’ve been listening to my body. It is time to start again, though. ii. Sunny days and blue skies. The smell of lilacs. Pine needles. Earth. Dirt. Breathing … Read More

Anticipation

(Image description: Scenic view at Saint Gaudens National Historic Park. Blue sky with fluffy white clouds, Mount Ascutney in the background. Aspet to the right and Pan statue with giant elephant ear plants in the foreground.) Anticipation i. The turn of the calendar from the ending of one month to the beginning of another. The cycles of death and rebirth. … Read More

Fuckin’ Perfect

Brave. I’ve been hearing that a lot lately in regards to both my professional life and my private, personal life. Yet I sit here and my eyes overfill and pain spills down my face. I listen to this and I tell myself I am not what they say I am. I can ignore it for a long time. I can … Read More

Dream-Warrior Angels

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then … Read More

Rooted {Listen to Your Mother}

The barren branches of a mature lilac bush shiver as winter’s breath exhales on them. From the warm and peaceful place inside our new home where I sip my coffee I see them. Stripped down. Fragile leaves and blooms gone. Awaiting spring. Thick branches crossing over one another. Roots unseen stand through the bitter cold. I used to believe my … Read More

Insecurity, Trucks, Planes, Trains, and Labyrinths

Dream last night. I was at a party in Florida taking pics. I took a bunch of the people there and someone asked me how long it would be until they would see them and I told them a few days. We were all sitting outside and the sun started setting. I pointed to it and told this guy I … Read More

Military Dreams

In the first one, the government wooed people to join this project and promised all this wonderful stuff. When the project started though, the military’s mission was to starve us out. They cut off our food supply, but no one really knew. We just received smaller deliveries. I had noticed early on so I’d been rationing our family’s food. In … Read More