Active Inaction.

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well

We know more, but we know less.

Phil had his conference call to find out where we’re being relocated. What we know is there is nothing available in the Indiana region and Phil now has to internally apply for positions in other states. He has sent some off and now we wait. Again. For how long, we don’t know.

Iced Bokeh

Until something happens, he’ll be working out of the terminal he trained at (Ft. Wayne) and he’ll possibly be sent to other terminals to fill in for the managers on vacation.

This waiting. It is so hard!


I was talking to a friend who is also in a season of waiting. We discussed how it is so much easier to deal with tragedy because we get to DO something.  The action of waiting feels like inaction.  And how difficult is it to just be? (monumentally!!)

Then I said maybe I should see this waiting time as a gift of respite.  Retrain my mind.

But the truth is I don’t know the first thing about retraining my mind or making this time of active inaction into a time of relaxation and gratitude.

4 thoughts on “Active Inaction.”

  1. I was where you are while waiting for our house to sell. One very long year. Wish I could say something to you to make it easier, but I dont have anything really. I still dont know how I did it, I just did. I had to accept it. No retraining my brain, the OCD just wont let that happen. It was hard but I lived, you will too. Blind faith…..

    • The OCD does indeed make it difficult. Through the years, I’ve overcome certain negative aspects of this condition, but some are so deeply ingrained that it takes brute force to push out and retrain.

  2. Waiting is so hard. But I do believe sometimes it is in the moments of “waiting” that life happens, that monumental things happen. Hang in there!! xoxo


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