Am I just too sensitive?

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well

Or is God just preparing me for the future?

Have you ever just had your heart ripped in two by someone you care deeply about?

Here’s what I’m rambling about. Ever since I read The Dream Giver, I’ve noticed what Wilkinson calls “Border Bullies” all around me. In his parable, Wilkinson tells the story of Ordinary in the land of Familiar. He finds out that he has been given a Big Dream by the Dream Giver and sets out to leave Familiar to live out the Big Dream.

First he must leave The Comfort Zone. Then Ordinary must make it out of Borderland. This is where the Border Bullies are. You would expect that these Border Bullies are people you don’t really know. However, they seem to be those you least expect.

Just a few months ago, I had some Border Bullies who just really didn’t want me to follow my dream. It seemed they were doing everything possible to sabotage my dream. They were some of my closest Christian friends and I was dumbfounded by the experience.

Now, just today, another Christian friend I admire and respect has totally blown me away with what seems to be an “in your face” rejection of my dream. I sit and wonder why people want to knowingly hurt me. It feels different when the hurt comes from someone I don’t know or am not close to. But it cuts pretty deep when it comes from people who know my heart and know how much it means to me to follow this dream.

I’m pretty sure I know that God has placed them there as “Border Bullies” to test me or to prepare me for future rejection. That doesn’t stop the hurt, though.

I’m glad He warned me of the hurt. It just seems to smart a bit more when it comes from those we love.

2 thoughts on “Am I just too sensitive?”

  1. Michelle, I pray that the Lord gives you peace as you pass through this storm.

    Follow your dream, my friend!

  2. Michelle, I followed your link from my sister-in-laws blog. I read this and know very much how you feel. I am in search of God’s strength as I have two step-children who have pushed me out of their lives. Yes, they are teens and yes, they were not happy with my parenting. I love them so much and miss them dearly, but the hurt doesn’t seem to go away.


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