Now What? Continued…

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well

You can read .

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Apparently when you ask God, “Now what?” He hears.

Ask and it will be given to you

Apparently when you ask God, “Now what?” He hears.

He sends people to you who say things like:

“Having faith means deciding what your relationship with God is, just the two of you (and his legion of angels who follow you around slapping you upside the head, sometimes just because they’re having a bad day – they have those, too, I assume).”


“Just be you – because He thinks you are pretty f-ing cool and if you be someone else, he’ll send an angel to do that head-whacking thing.”

My friends are angels.

One told me a story of how he had a meltdown after some particularly horrible events. He told me how he told God he wanted “out” even though he didn’t know what that meant. He was a little fearful of what it could mean so he apologized and he had a peace about things that led to him understanding that God invited him to be with people during their times of crisis, that God trusted him to be there for them. That he didn’t have to accept every invitation and if he chose not to accept it, he wouldn’t be punished or scorned or set outside the city gates to gnash his teeth.


One humbled me beyond measure by breaking down walls to tell of things not ever shared.


One who has been struggling with this same issue is now emerging from the other side and shining a flashlight back for me, so I can get a glimpse of the path.



…seek and you will find

At a church I’ve never stepped foot in, with women I’ve never met, but also alone, I’ve started a journey. I’d be a liar if I told you I knew that yesterday. There was an inclination, a desire, to work on a Beth Moore Bible study, that was it. No more, no less. It was a comfortable way for me to try this thing with God again.


(God was giggling at his mighty cleverness.)


An S.O.S. was sent out to Twitter and Facebook asking if there was a study starting and another angel told me where to find two of them and using my awesome gift of deduction, I chose the Wednesday night study called Stepping Up.


Stepping Up—a journey through the Psalms of Ascent


If the woman said it once, she said it a million times last night, “Because the veil has been torn, there is no distance between you and God.”


There is no distance between God and I.


There is no distance between God and I.


Is that my answer? (I think so.) (yes. I know so.)


Beth Moore wrote in today’s homework,


“This study is about going from here to there. About making real progress. Simply put, if you want to get on with it, whatever “it” may be, you can rest assured you’re signed up for the right journey. “

knock and the door will be opened to you.

Does God really invite us to be a part of His work or are we obligated and bound by Christ to do it?


With trepidation?

The very first verse of the very first Psalm we’re studying:

“In my distress I cried unto the Lord, and he heard me.”


It’s the little things, y’know?

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4 thoughts on “Now What? Continued…”

  1. Yay! Amen, sister! I pray God speaks VOLUMES to you through this study. Yes, there is no distance between God and us. That's the work Christ did on the cross, bridging the gap of sin for us, so we can draw close to God, despite our sin, and refuge in Him, dwell in Him, worship in Him.

    To quote Veggietales: "God thinks you're special and He loves you very much!" You are very precious to God indeed, he will not forsake you or leave you. God bless you sweet sister!

  2. Thanks for writing part 2. It's encouraging to me, and I was smiling for you as I read it. God is so cool.

    Eugene Peterson's "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction" is also an excellent study of the Psalms of Ascents and I've used it in study a few times. You might enjoy reading it along with the Beth Moore study.

  3. Until yesterday morning, in a woman's bible study, I have struggled with how to say what I feel when I see people where you are. Now I know: I celebrate this journey you are on!!

    I was in a similar spot a year ago, seeking, digging. It is amazing the people and the words God gives you along the way!

    Love this post!


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