*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well
Being pruned = violent pain. It really does. Being grafted = more pain.
In my garden are 4 basil plants. Daily, I pick the tops off so they don’t go to seed too quickly, so they bush out and produce more leaves. The basil plants aren’t really feeling a whole lot of pain and the plant thrives because I do this easy pruning often.
But take an apple tree that hasn’t been pruned in years? You can’t just start whacking off branches either. The best time to prune a fruit tree is in the winter. If you prune in the summer, you’ll likely kill the tree. There are certain branches that are better cut off than others. Winter seems like such a harsh time to prune, but it’s definitely the best time if you want your tree to produce the greatest amount of fruit.
When I looked at the date this morning, I knew I had to write something and I’ve been staring at a blank screen and reading posts from last year. Gumby-God Pretenders–written about people who are fake, who pretend, who manipulate the truth. Which brought up The Tree is Known–which is about being pruned from a corrupt tree and God grafting me into His vine. Then onto Storming. It was storming in our lives, I have a history of storming full force into the things God puts before me…and he wanted me to stop.
to be still.
He fed my OCD…he let me clean. I disposed of garbage (physically, mentally, emotionally.)
He’s been pruning and healing for so long now. And the pain has been violent. It really has.
I feel like last July was winter in our lives. Phil was fired, we had to move to a vacant land, he got a new job–one that has kept him away from our family, stretched our budget so thin it’s been uncomfortable, and at the same time I feel like I was stretched, pruned, challenged, spiritually attacked, tested, tried, laid bare, and now?
How *do* I feel right now? Earlier today, I said, “I have ANTICIPATION bubbling up inside of me like a shaken can of soda.”
God has used this past year prune me–to graft me into His will.
It is said that grafting a wild grape into a pure vine will change the wild grape. Grafting means the pure vine is cut at the trunk (and the trunk has to bleed out, so that its pressure doesn’t force the new vine out,) the new vine and the trunk must have internal contact, otherwise the vine being grafted will die. Both must be cut. The cuts must be sealed and then the new vine is joined and takes nourishment. For a time, the grafting union is extremely fragile, especially as new shoots are growing, but when healed, you can’t tell the grafting occurred.
If I had to guess where I am today…
I would say that the healing is well along and you’d probably have to look hard to see where the cuts were.