Reflecting {restore}

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well

My word for 2013 is {restore}

This time last year, we didn’t know where we’d be moving. I had fasted through Advent. Phil was out of town for work almost all of that time. My dad had been diagnosed on Thanksgiving with an aggressive form of cancer and we didn’t think he’d make it to Christmas.

From last December to now, I have spent more weeks fasting than not. This once-atheist girl just spent more time fasting in  a year than not? This past year, I chose (willingly) to seek God instead of His people by way of a local congregation and He let me. He let me find pleasure in Him, security, protection, joy.

“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord, because they have called you an outcast…”

Jeremiah 30:17

This word “restore” in this verse in Hebrew seems to mean to ascend, to spring up, grow, shoot forth, to come up (before God,)  to bring up, draw up, train…

I haven’t met any new friends in Cedar Rapids. We’ve been here nearly a year now and it’s ok with me. I have absolutely loved this time of being alone with my family and with God.

I do really feel like I’ve “come up before God” this year.

Not everything has been easy or nice. I had to make hard choices, some impacting familial relationships that just wrecked me. I really struggled with the fact that bread and wine are poison to my body. Good stuff happened, too. My dad is still alive today. I am back to editing and writing. My ex-husband apologized after 20 years. God freed me completely from I lie I was believing, a lie that really held me back. My health had indeed been restored.

It’s been a year of this:

Your job is to pull up and tear down,
take apart and demolish,
And then start over,
building and planting.

Jeremiah 1:10

Spiritually, professionally, mentally, emotionally, and physically.  Old ways have been demolished, pains, fears, beliefs–all torn down. I guess this is where the work of starting over begins? Building and planting.  I feel like I’ve been in somewhat of a rut for the past decade. It doesn’t feel like that anymore.

Looking back at my words, it seems there is a clear message:

Simplify. {2008}
Simplify. {2009}
Simplify. {2010}
Believe. {2011}
Grace. {2012}
Restore {2013}

Get rid of stuff–simplify. Then Believe, Grace, Restore. They’re all very much connected to the bigger picture of healing that God has had me working on for so long. I’ve had a full year, but honestly, one of the better years of the past decade. It was a very profound year, indeed.

4 thoughts on “Reflecting {restore}”

  1. What I beautiful reflection. I admire your steadfast faith and obedience to God.

    I have a long way to go {grow} in that department.

    I was just reflecting internally a bit about my word earlier today…hoping to write yet this week.

    Bless you!

    Love ya,

    Jen

    Reply

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