*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well
Are you one who resists change?
I’m not, I get excited about it. I’ve sensed for the past few years this “spiral up” thing God has going on. I learned a bit about it the first I worked through Beth Moore’s Believing God.
What I got out of it was something like this. The Hebrews were freed from Egyptian slavery, yet walked circles around the desert. Some spiraled up and crossed the Jordan, some didn’t. Things came full circle for them (Gilgal, the place and the name mean circle), the Israelites had to be circumcised and healed before they moved on. Last year around this time, I blogged about this spiritual circumcision
This spiritual circumcision that requires a loss of a way of life, this is what I have been experiencing. First God asked me to move on from my position with AtHome America. Then He asked me to leave my Church. Then He asked me to leave a place online that I have been for many, many years and have made so many of my close friends.
It is a year later and I’m find myself spiraling up in many areas of life. In our family life, much has changed since we’ve been working through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University For the first time in our relationship, Phil and I feel like we’re getting a grip on our finances. I’ve never felt so good about the choices we’re making as I do learning these skills.
I’ve got my Misfits–love you guys! That’s my critique group. If I dare say so myself, this group has some exciting things happening now and I can see many more celebrations for the future!
Then there’s this post from last year. I talk about how I lost myself, my creativity, lost who I was and how my friend Kimmie was helping me get me back. This year, her husband said, “I have never seen a person change as much as Michelle has and in such a dramatic way. From her clothes to her attitude, she just carries her self different now.” Thank you for telling me that Kimmie! It means more than you know.
Big things have happened with writing as well. Most of them are completely internal and you’d be bored to tears if I hashed that out here.
Once again, faced with some disappointing events with long time friends yesterday, I realize that people will always disappoint me and I’ll always let them down. It is in forgiveness that we get on with life. Some people don’t have the capability to forgive, or to spiral up and they’ll never cross the Jordan. More than once I’ve been stuck running around in circles. I’m just glad that when I’m feeling a bit down, some of those crumbs fall to the floor like Chanda’s post and the TGIF devotional because those tell me that what’s happening is not wasted, as a matter of fact, it is probably set in motion by God. So, while I hate it that I’ve had to leave stuff behind, I love it that I did a Spiral Up.
So, like Cowboy Up–God has given me Spiral Up. LOL