I Wondered. I Whined. But I am Happy.

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well

There were some good things that came out of Calvin’s Festival of Faith & Writing.

I got to hang out with two of my favorite people. Coach and Kimberly. They have a relationship that looks a lot like what Phil and I have. We don’t meet many people like us so I love when we all gel and mesh and understand each other. And when we don’t speak with nouns in sentences and still understand each other.

I got to meet Heather von Doehren and Alan Ackmann. Assistant Editor and Fiction Editor at Relief. Also husband and wife. Which I might never have known. Heather love Cheetos. I will buy her bags and bags of Cheetos to score brownie points. I didn’t find out what Alan likes. I do know he celebrated his birthday on April 19th. Happy Birthday Alan!

I also got to meet Brad Fruhauff, Poetry Editor at Relief. He was gracious enough to offer his expertise for me, the poetry-defunct girl.

J. Mark Bertrand and his cool new business cards were there along with Chris Fisher, Relief‘s Pushcart nominee. Mark made fun of me a lot and Chris tried to get me to read The Life of Pi. Not to worry, I took it in stride. I poked fun back and refused to read The Life of Pi because Yann Martel bored me to tears. Literally. I don’t know how anyone sat through that.

Nathan Knapp
was there. I don’t think he’s blogged in awhile, but he’s busy with college and all. He reminds me a lot of our son, Mike. If I had my shit together like these two, I might have had a shot at actually making something of myself in this lifetime. Turns out, I strayed a lot. Like those sheep God’s always comparing us to. Yeah. I think I’ve had my leg broke 5 or 6 times now. Now I’m an old cow limping my way to pasture. But I’ve learned to not run away. It’s something. Give me a little credit here.

And my biggest surprise? Michael Chabon. The lighting was messed up and I couldn’t look at the guy without seeing two faces, one of which was a werewolf–and both faces were talking. But the guy is great. Funny as hell. And he said dickhead to an audience full of Christians. So of course, I have a crush on him for being rebellious. I went to the table after his talk to buy a book and would you believe it? There was one with a werewolf on it. So I bought that one and told him the story as he signed yet. Yeah. I’m pretty sure he thought I was a freak. Mark even made sure to put the space of five people between us so I wouldn’t embarrass him. Poor Mark.

The highlight of the weekend? Haven Kimmel, Lisa Samson, and Claudia Burney.

Well, hopefully this isn’t as boring as most after-conference posts. But I fear it is. Hey. Wake up. Oh well. I tried.

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4 thoughts on “I Wondered. I Whined. But I am Happy.”

  1. “So, what did you wonder and whine about?” she whined, wondering.

    I wish I could have been there just to hang with everyone!

    Love, J.

  2. Ha! Never mind. I’m reading your recent posts in the wrong order, and I just read the wondering, whining one. 😉

    “See, I listen. I’m not fake,” she said, laughing right in the middle of a story about the unfortunate hamster’s tragic running-wheel accident. He’d been so happy. Suicide was not an option.


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