Jill

Broken

5 years ago today I lost my best friend. I’ve written about her quite a bit. The Jim Mug Four Leaf Clovers The Shit Shovel Her blog is still there and I read it over and over. I miss her.     I broke the Starbucks mug she gave me 🙁   I still have her words, I can still … Read More

The Jim Mug

Sometimes, when you meet a girlfriend, you just know. That was Jill. We met in 1998. She was my labor coach because Phil was on the road. She was the only one with me when Zane was born. We spent New Year’s Eve 1999 together, my son’s first and New Year’s Eve 2007 together, her last. So I sit here … Read More

Feeble Prayers

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then … Read More

Categories GOD

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I went to a writing conference and my mom needed medical treatment. Once home, I found out my mom has a brain tumor. My mom has lymphoma. I’ve been with her nearly every day. My mom seems to like to sleep when I’m with her. And that’s ok. She needs to rest and heal. (I’ve been writing.) The hospital has … Read More

Categories GOD

Now What?

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then … Read More

The Odds of Luck

They’re pressed in many books I have no intention of ever discarding. Given to me on such a regular basis, I took for granted their rarity. She’d tip-toe through my yard as if walking a tight-rope, even though the yard was nothing but weeds and rocks. She’d bend in half like a ballerina and go right to them, they must … Read More

Sometimes Anniversaries Aren’t the Fun Kind

Jill‘s been gone one year today. The only reason the pickled watermelon rind she sent Phil last year isn’t in there any longer is because while we were out of town one weekend, our power went out for a few days and when we returned, we had to throw everything away. I held it in my hand, hesitating. I thought … Read More

Total Avoidance

**Dibs on title** Total Avoidance would be a great name for a short story. I’ll have to write that as soon as I get on with this avoidance thing. I am so not good at this shit. I watched another movie over the weekend and I can’t get it out of my head. It sounded funny. It was funny. It … Read More

It’s Not Much

But it’s something. I haven’t looked at my novel since December. Right before I went to be with Jill before she died. I don’t know if her death shut me down. Death has a way of doing that to me. I don’t know what it was. But I got it out last night and I decided it was time to … Read More

Jill

Jill and I met in 1998 in Aurora, Missouri at Union Planters Bank where we were both hired. It was an instant bond since we both “weren’t from around there”. She was from Illinois, around Peoria and I was from Northwest Indiana. We both talked fast and wore weird shoes, far as those Missouri folks were concerned. Phil was gone … Read More