*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well
Tired. Pooped. Out of gas. Running on fumes. The big “E” is flashing and I’m thinking I have to pull over on the shoulder, but there’s no shoulder. No exit. Nada. Zippo. Ziltch.
Part of it is out of my control. Part of it was caused by a decision I made last night to take a break and go have some fun.
I should’ve just stayed home.
But I didn’t.
I wanted to say home, but I wanted to go. I went because I thought I needed a pick-me-up. Turns out I did indeed have fun. A LOT of fun. But because of an out of my control factor, I only got 3 hours sleep and today was already slated to be stressful. Add to that no sleep and honest to God, I’m an emotional basket case.
I’ve asked God for forgiveness. I’ve asked him for help. Strength. Energy. I’m kinda at wit’s end. I have too many responsibilities today and I know I can’t fulfill them. There are important deadlines and things I cannot ignore, yet, I have nothing to offer anyone or anything.
I’m on E.
And I don’t think I’ve ever been here before.