Yes, I am mean.

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well

Argue all you want.

But the truth is, if you know me, you know just how mean I can be. You know the ugly that rolls around in my head. You’ve heard the things I’ve uttered followed by the sarcastic, “Oh. Did I just say that out loud?”

I hurt someone’s feelings the other day, I didn’t mean to. I misunderstood and jumped with one of my harsh, cold comments and only later did I realize my mistake. Had I taken a minute, I would’ve known. This person told me it was ok, no offense taken, and changes were made (good changes!) based on my comments. It ended well.


I should’ve taken that extra second to give some grace.

I’m really no good at giving grace.

But I am working on it.

My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.

2 corinthians 12:9

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3 thoughts on “Yes, I am mean.”

  1. But you are aware, and therefore, you are not mean, you are just human. And a GOOD human at that. You realized your mistake, you apologized, and you are obviously still feeling badly about it…if you were mean, you wouldn’t care. Just saying. 😉

  2. I’m NOT good at thinking before speaking. It’s something I’ve been working on for a long time, and I think maybe I’m better than I used to be, but still not very good at it. My husband, especially, is pretty good at luring that sinful streak out of hiding. The good news is, the more you think about it, the closer and closer it gets to the moment, to where you realize it immediately after saying it, to where you realize it in the middle of saying it, to where you realize it as you’re opening your mouth, to where you can catch yourself before you respond. But the other thing is that you have to keep practicing or you get out of practice and next thing you know you’re back to speaking before thinking. I keep getting out of practice. = But if we keep trying we can get there. =)


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