*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well
When we first found out Phil was fired, I grieved over the loss of what had become home. We lived on site. Loss of job equaled loss of home. Loss of my garden. My flower beds. My back yard. My view. My porch swing.
All selfish things, things I had come to enjoy. Things I loved to share with others, inviting them over. So maybe not the loss of things, but the loss of the people who I could no longer watch enjoy the peacefulness of the land.
But still. I missed it and knew I would miss it.
Instead of being thankful, I was resentful.
I began thanking again. Giving glory to God for protecting us and providing for us and preparing us for what’s to come.
And I feel like He’s painting the sky just for me. Selfish? Maybe. Probably. But He’s showing me I didn’t lose anything, I gained a whole new life.