*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well
it’s easy for this introvert to sit inside her home and type out blog posts and bible studies and workshop lessons. it’s easy for her to get lost in the time, not leaving the house for weeks on end, not wanting to leave, calling her husband at work asking if he can pick up milk and butter because she doesn’t want to leave just yet.
it’s not easy for her to go and be with people. and so God forces her in big and mighty ways to go…
and He meets her there alone amongst the women
and He breaks her
He breaks her in half and holds her up for the world to see
(and the thought occurs. Jesus at the last supper. Jesus breaking bread, take it, eat it, this is my body.)
(and i am part of the body, am i not?)
what am i giving of me? how am i to abide in Him if i hide inside and only look out?
and He turns the heart inside out and reminds her during prayer that He gives new mercies
and so should she
though it’s not easy to change, she’s glad He sees her from the inside out.