Inside Out

*A note before you read this. After doing an audit of my blog in 2022, I have decided to leave content that speaks to the Christian I was at the time this was written. I no longer identify as Christian (and haven’t for a very long time.) I chose to leave these posts because it is who I was then and it is important to me to be honest and true with every iteration and evolution of self that I experience. I may decide to add comments to the end of posts like this as well

morning looking out

it’s easy for this introvert to sit inside her home and type out blog posts and bible studies and workshop lessons. it’s easy for her to get lost in the time, not leaving the house for weeks on end, not wanting to leave, calling her husband at work asking if he can pick up milk and butter because she doesn’t want to leave just yet.

it’s not easy for her to go and be with people. and so God forces her in big and mighty ways to go…

and He meets her there alone amongst the women

November morning

and He breaks her

He breaks her in half and holds her up for the world to see

(and the thought occurs. Jesus at the last supper. Jesus breaking bread, take it, eat it, this is my body.)

(and i am part of the body, am i not?)

what am i giving of me? how am i to abide in Him if i hide inside and only look out?

and He turns the heart inside out and reminds her during prayer that He gives new mercies

and so should she

new mercies Visual Prayer

though it’s not easy to change, she’s glad He sees her from the inside out.

bigger picture blog, linked at Lenae’s

17 thoughts on “Inside Out”

  1. I felt the Spirit heavy in this post, flowing out of your words, the truths He’s speaking into your life. The gift he’s given you with words, for visual art, for expressing the lessons you’re learning through both is incredible, Michelle. I’m so glad He put us together one snowy night in PA. I hope we get to travel together for the long stretch of road that spans beyond I-80.

    Reply
    • Like you said in your post (and I could never say it as eloquently as you) –about the snow heavy with grace. That’s exactly how I feel.

      And Amen and in my best Buzz Lightyear voice: To I-80 and BEYOND!!! 🙂

      Reply
  2. I felt so connected to your words, relaxing into them. I too am that introvert who would rarely feel a need to step outside the serenity of my home. Then you got me….how much can we really do of the work that needs to be done if we stay in our comfort zone? Thank you for these words.

    Reply
  3. Stepping outside of your comfort zone is easier said than done and your love of God (and His of you) will get you through your darkest moments, insecurities, and need to share His word. Through this post I felt so much. You are talented in a variety of ways I can tell and I can’t wait to learn more about your gift to give to the world.

    Alita

    Reply
  4. “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”” (1 Samuel 16:7) There are so many examples in His word of how He uses the most unlikely people to carry out His plans. I love this verse from Samuel – as Samuel is searching for who God will call the new king of Israel, he looks at the outward appearances of men, for whose stature and appearance makes him look like a king. But God doesn’t look at that – He sees the heart and He knew David’s heart, a man after His own heart. Though David was the youngest in his family and a lowly shepherd, God raised him up as king over His people on earth. In the same way that He used David, He can use me – and you too! Despite our messes, despite our doubts, despite our failures…He still wants to use us to bring Him glory. <3

    Reply
  5. Okay, I am SO glad that you connected with Hy and Melissa so I could, by association, “meet” you too. Love your heart and how you share it… You put into words so well what I’m thinking of but can’t express. And you encourage me to draw closer to Him; my absolutely favorite quality in another person 🙂 Look forward to getting to know you better!

    Reply

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