Voice Commands

I seriously couldn’t wait to post this story. Phil and I must have laughed for a half hour about it when it happened around 2am and then again just as hard when we woke up. And this is one of those stories that will be around a lifetime!

Remember that our bed is in the living room because we’re remodeling? There’s a door we let the dogs out of in there, so when Patches got up at 2am and scratched to go out, I was not a happy camper. Okay, happy that she’s a puppy and not piddling on my floor, but it was -23 degrees overnight and our poor furnace is not keeping up. I also don’t sleep with much between me and the covers. Can you say COLD?

Plus, I think I’m getting sick. Phil didn’t know I was letting the dog out so he asked, “Honey? Are you okay? You’ve been making a lot of noise and you’re not sleeping good.” I was all stuffy and my head hurt and I was having bad dreams.

But I stopped whining long enough to let the dog out.

Then I let her back in.

Before I could get back to bed, she was already on my side, snow-covered paws walking circles in my little comfy spot. I was not about to lay down on a snowy bed.

So I found a nice fleece blanket (soft!) and rather than turn the obnoxious bright lights on, I opened my cell phone as a nightlight.

I accidentally hit the voice command button, so while I’m trying to straighten the fleece blanket over my snowy side of the bed, the voice command lady saying with her robotic voice, “Please say a command.” Pause. “Please say a command.”

Phil: “Butthole.”

Robotic lady: “Please say a command.”

Phil, louder: “Butt. Hole.”

Robotic lady: “I’m sorry. Did you say, ‘Call Phil?'”

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11 thoughts on “Voice Commands”

  1. That is HILARIOUS! I’m sitting at my desk at work and I’m sure people think I’m loony because I’m in my cubicle laughing out loud. Very funny!

  2. oh. my. gosh.

    Phil, I don’t know you from the next guy..

    BUTT (ha!)

    I think you deserved that.


    (michelle, you are a SCREAM)

  3. OMG I am dying, that is hilarious Michelle…I can just hear you laughing uncontrollably when the voice lady said that. So funny, thanks for sharing! Tell Butt Hole I said hi!


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